Real Life 101: Christmas Down, New Years Eve and a First Birthday Gala to Go

I made it through Christmas without as much as one major tantrum. Okay, maybe one, but I swear that was it. Actually, it was more of a breakdown than a tantrum per se. You see, I needed to make brownies to take over my in-laws on Christmas Eve. I went to the grocery store - as did ninety eight percent of the population of Connecticut at that exact same moment - fought my way through the crowds, gathered the ingredients, waited in the lines, battled the traffic and arrived home with my sanity still somewhat intact. Then I opened the kitchen cabinet, moved some cans around and discovered, hiding in the back amongst the peas and chicken stock, an empty bottle of vegetable oil. Now one might say, “You should have made sure that you had some before going to the grocery store.” Oh, but I did. I opened the cabinet and saw the top of the bottle and logically assumed that if the vegetable oil bottle was in the cabinet then surely there must be vegetable oil in it. Besides, I only needed ¼ cup.

Putting empty things away is a habit of my husband’s that I cannot seem to break him of. It’s my own damn fault for not checking but, at that moment, there was no hope of making me see things logically. There was a lot of yelling, some talk of skipping Christmas altogether and flying to an island, a tear or two, a box being hurled and an explosion of powdered brownie mix covering my kitchen floor in a soft chocolate blanket. Then there was a lot of vacuuming and the consumption of mass quantities of alcohol. My husband, God bless his calm and rational soul, has managed to make it thus far into our marriage without once suggesting medication, institutionalization, or running away and entering the witness protection program. I would have left me a long time ago.

Once the dust settled (both metaphorically and literally) it was pretty much smooth sailing. We spent Christmas Eve at my in-laws with Michael’s brother, his wife and their two kids where we were inundated with toys that make noise, require batteries and have a bazillion small parts never to be seen again. We spent Christmas morning at home and then headed to my parent’s for the day.

I (a.k.a. Santa) did a pretty good job of not going overboard and only bought Christopher a few things but somehow we’ve acquired enough toys to open our very own Toys R Us in our living room. We also have enough battery power to propel a small rocket into space. I am now begging anyone who will listen to buy books and only books for Christopher’s birthday. I’m thinking about a No Toys Allowed theme for the upcoming party.

Christopher didn’t quite know what to make of Christmas. Here, on Christmas Eve, his expression clearly reads, “Fascinating. What, exactly, am I supposed to do with all of these boxes?”

And then here, on Christmas morning, same thing.

I think his favorite part of the festivities was the tape. And the chocolate cake.

Today I am at work, away from the chaos that awaits me at home in my own personal Romper Room. I have the rest of the week off which I shall spend doing the usual cooking, cleaning and shopping, times ten, because the holidays are not yet over. We are having some friends over on New Years Eve for a dinner party and I have no idea what to make. Then it’s on to the planning of and preparation for Christopher’s birthday party. In my spare time I will be at the mall exchanging gifts, hitting the after Christmas sales and returning Cali Girl to Target. If all goes according to schedule I may finally get a chance to sit down and relax sometime in late January.