Sleeping has never been a real big priority on Christopher’s agenda. Nap time and bedtime are hard on all of us: me, Michael, Christopher, the dog, the neighbors. Short of driving him around in the car every time I want him to go to sleep, I think I’ve tried it all. Rocking, walking, singing, staying with him in the room, leaving him alone in the room, bringing him in our bed, nightlights, white noise, blankets, no blankets, toys in the crib, nothing in the crib, crying it out, responding to his every cry, intermittently checking on him, a bottle in bed, a bottle before bed, no bottle at all, and drowning my frustrations at the bottom of a bottle.

I know that you have the solution, and I’m sure that your solution will work, but the reprieve is only temporary. Eventually he catches on to our little game and he realizes that the bath and the book are followed by BED. He will be happy and playful in the bath and sit quietly through the book, but once that last page is reached all hell breaks loose. Also, I must warn you that even the kindest, most well-meaning assvice on this issue may be responded to will a slightly maniacal, FINE! You’re so smart, you come over here and try and put this kid to sleep!! And then I’ll probably throw my hands up in the air and stomp out of the room.

Possible Solution #752, Bottle/Book/Second Book/Bedtime, had been working for about week or so prior to last Friday. Last Friday it all went to shit. Last Friday, at my sister-in-law’s house, we discovered that he can climb out of the crib. After moving him from the crib to the Pack ‘n Play, we discovered that he can climb out of that too. Seven or eight times in a row. He just vaults right over the bar like Mary Lou Retton. He’s really not concerned with falling onto his face on the hardwood floor as long as it means that he doesn’t have to nap.

He hasn’t done it since, but it’s only a matter of time. So now we have to decide, do we take our chances and leave him in the crib? Do we stand guard over him until he falls asleep? Do we tie his ankles to the crib rails? Do we give up on sleep altogether? Or do we move him to a bed? Obviously there isn’t a chance in hell that he’ll stay in it, but at least he won’t break any bones trying to get out. I’m sure DCS already has me on their radar with all the screaming that radiates out of his bedroom windows on a daily basis, I wouldn’t want to send up any red flags hauling a twenty-month-old into the ER with fractures and bruising (Honestly, doc, he just hopped over the bar and flung himself to the floor. He hates sleeping THAT MUCH.)

I still think he’s too young for a bed but what do I know? I thought he was too young for potty training (which, by the way, I haven’t even attempted. One failure at a time, people). I guess I could look it up on the internet or go to the library and take out a book … no, no I can’t.

Comments

[Pam]

That burrito thing Linda had going on to do E's eyes looked promising... And that would be my only assvice.

[Lisa S (et al, aka Stolidoli)]

Hey Kelli - here's some assvice that might buy you time before you decide what to do. We used to leave the rail down on the crib so the kids could climb in and out more safely. Actually, just Riley. Riley had the fancy crib where the rail came off and became a toddler bed, but we didn't do that at first.

Of course, he was still IN the toddler bed when Bella was born, so she got a hand me down crib, which was OK, because she never climbed out of the damned thing until we took it away (she still asks for it back, the bugger).

Adelyn's not crawling out yet, but that should happen while we're on vacation because that's my luck.

I still remember the first time Riley crawled out - he was under two but even then could speak ALOT and very well. I was still on maternity leave with Bella, who was just a few months old.

"I got out of my crib!" he announced during nap time, sauntering into my room as I lay in bed thinking how good it was that they finally napped at the same time.

Anyway, he's still a pain in the ass. Good luck!! Babyhood is officially over now!!

[Kelli]

Here is where being a first-time mom and all the naïveté that comes with it really bites you in the ass:
We bought one of those cribs that doesn't have a drop side. When picking it out I gave a lot of thought to how nice it looked but none whatsoever to how practical it was. It DOES convert into a toddler bed but we have to buy an extra $200 part and new linens and disassemble the whole thing. If I go through all that and he still won't stay in bed I might just have to kill him.

And Pam, I have used that burrito technique many times – that is how we extract snot in this house. One variation though – I pin his head between my knees so that he can’t turn it.

[Linda]

Okay, I'm scared to offer any assvice, because you sound so mean. But I'm a bitch so we're a great match and I'll offer it up anyway!

There are roofs for cribs. You can find them here: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00014PLAY/qid=1124989180/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-1628418-3771024?v=glance&s=baby&n=507846

Also, I've heard of parents taking everything out of their kid's room except for a mattress on the floor and some toys. The kid sometimes sleeps on the mattress and sometimes on the floor, but he's safe and confined. I made a note of this years ago because I saw it in my future then and I still see it in my future today.

[Lassa]

Don't worry Linda. She's not mean, just funny as hell.

Kelli, if you have to spend $200 to convert the crib to the toddler bed, you might want to skip that and just go straight to a 'big boy' bed. They grow out of the toddler bed so fast, it's probably not worth the expense.

[Leggy]

No assvice here, just my sympathies. The Cutie Pie was always a tough sleeper, and its only in the last few months (he's 4 1/2), that we've been able to leave the room while he's still awake. We still have a long routine of bath, stories, bed, but at least we don't have to stay there all night until he's comatose and then slither out on the floor so he doesn't see us leaving. It makes me wonder if that's why IVFs #2 & #3 didn't work- because there would have been no way for us to handle that and a newborn. So now that we've got the sleep thing down with The Cutie Pie (please God), maybe that means IVF #4 is guaranteed to work? (I wish!)

[Catt]

Two words: Duct Tape.

[Letetia Nicole]

Yes, time for a big boy bed. Keep the bar minimum in the room. Baby proof the outlets and blind cords and such.

Put a door knob thingy on the inside of the door. You know so he can't open the door.

Yes he may end up on the floor. But he'll be sleep. And please feel free to call me all sorts of names because I don't know your kid and none of this may work.

For about 3 months my 2 y/o would sleep through the night, but before he went to bed he took all his clothes and pull up off.

Finally a wise mom of older boys told me to duck tape his pull up so he couldn't get it off. It worked and we only did it for about 2 weeks. So some advice works and some doesn't.

By the time you get them sleeping in their own bed with out having to be locked in. then they will start having "real" reasons to wake you up in the middle of the night.