Bah Hum-blog

It appears that my presumed reputation as somewhat of a drinker was not entirely all in my head after all. Approximately thirty seconds after arriving in New Hampshire for a weekend getaway with Michael’s family, they were onto our little secret. You see, I ordered a sparkling water at the bar. After that, my mother-in-law was on me like a hawk, practically trying to force feed me champagne and make me pee on a stick. Michael and I tried to keep our cool and I even went so far as to order a margarita with dinner (making Michael drink it when no one was looking), but seeing as how I was still upright at the end of the meal, I don’t think I was fooling anyone.

We’ve decided to make our official announcement this weekend. It will be a nice Christmas surprise. Also, no one was buying the “Oh, I think I’ll just have a water for now” routine the first time around.

And speaking of Christmas …

In the spirit of this fine holiday season I ventured out on Monday morning to finish up my Christmas shopping, giving the finger to no fewer than four other drivers on the road between my house and Target, because people drive like assholes. And also, where the hell did all those people come from? It was Monday morning, for the love of God. Do people not have jobs to be at? My car also got hit while I was in the store. Fortunately there was no damage, and a nice elderly man, who was waiting in the car next to mine while his wife finished up her shopping, witnessed the incident. He gave me his name, his number, his life story, a tirade about insurance companies, an anecdote about that time someone hit his car but never left a note, a run down of all the things his wife needed to get while they were out shopping … and while I thanked him over and over and over again, what I really wanted to say was, “Merry Christmas. Now will you please SHUT THE FUCK UP??” Then I went home and got into an entirely one-sided email fight with the people from Yahoo Photos because Christmas was a mere six days away and my Christmas cards (which I had ordered over a week earlier with express shipping) had not yet arrived. They kindly let me know, via auto reply, that my patience was appreciated and that they would get back to me at their earliest opportunity. It’s now Thursday and still no cards. Also, no response from Yahoo. Perhaps my last (all-caps) email (containing a number of words that weren’t exactly in-synch with the spirit of this joyous season) offended someone?

Christmas and hormones don’t mix.

A handful of presents to wrap, an apple pie and a cheesecake to bake*, seventeen naps to take, and an insurmountable amount of housecleaning to do and then I can finally sit back and enjoy Christmas.

Happy Holidays!

* Last night at the dinner table Michael said, “I used a stick of butter. I just wanted to let you know before you started baking. You know, because of what happened last year? With the oil? I thought I’d just tell you now.” Smart man. Perhaps I can’t blame the hormones after all.

Comments

[SarahA]

A smart man, indeed. Merry Christmas!

[Dawn]

See - He's trainable!!!

And I had the same thought on Tuesday - cause WHO takes Tuesday Off? Where are these people coming from? Why can't they go back from whence they came? I am here every day of the damn year, let me have a parking space!!!!

Try to relax and enjoy your last "single child" chirstmas!

[Trasi]

I read booth "My sister's Keeper" and "...the Hunt Sisters" They were booth SOOOO very good!! I hope that you are able to finish them soon. My only fear is that ABC or the like try to make "My sister's Keeper" a movie of the week, and they just won't do it justice!

[Gerah]

Belated congrats on two lines on the pregnancy test... Damn nausea.