In less than twenty-four hours we depart for our Annual Summer Beach Vacation with Michael’s family. The forecast is calling for at least ten straight days of thunderstorms and temperatures that don’t reach above seventy-two. Hurrah! Nothing like spending an entire week trapped indoors with three small children and a father-in-law who watches nothing on TV other than 24/7 sports. Have I mentioned that I can’t drink? Not even one gallon bottle glass of wine? Awesome!
On the upside, my fellow beachgoers will be spared the sight of my 33-week pregnant form in a bathing suit, in all of its pasty and oversized glory.
This road trip is also our first opportunity to use the portable DVD player that my mother-in-law bought for Christopher for his second birthday. You know, one of those models that straps to the back of the headrest? One of those things that I swore I’d never have because, damn it, children should learn to entertain themselves? What’s wrong with a little boredom and some casual conversation?
I will tell you: The sheer volume of verbal minutiae that can come out a toddler’s mouth in the ten minutes that it takes to run to the grocery store and back (nevermind a four-hour trip to another state) is infinitely more than one reasonable and sane adult can be expected to handle.
“I want go THAT way!”
“Well, the store is this way. We will go that way later.”
“We go grocery store?”
“Yes.”
“I ride in race car*?”
“Yes.”
“Where we going?”
“The grocery store.”
“Grocery store THAT way!!”
“No, it’s this way.”
“I want ride in race car.”
”Okay. When we get there you can ride in the race car.”
“Where grocery store?”
“THIS way. We’re on our way.”
“No! THAT way! You buy me orange juice at grocery store?”
“Yes.”
“I want donuts at grocery store.”
“Okay.”
“I want ride in race car.”
“Race car. Donuts. Orange juice. GOT IT! Can we be quiet now?”
“NO! I WANT TALK! … We go grocery store?”
Repeat 452 times.
* This conversation can take a horrible turn for the worse if, God forbid, we are going to a store that does not have race car shopping carts. Even worse? If they have them but they’re all taken. In this scenario I have been sorely tempted to just abandon the trip all together, turn around and go home.
So my objections to the constant multi-media bombardment of small, developing minds (and to candy, and donuts, and McDonalds, and bribery, and juice boxes, and an overabundance of toys, etc., etc. … Really, I should have made a list. Just so I could look back and mock my naïve, childless self.)? Totally out the window.
In-car DVD player, I welcome you into my life with open arms!
I hope it lives up to my expectations. I also hope that I don’t get stuck driving while my husband sits in the back seat and tries to convince Christopher that we forgot Thomas the Tank Engine at home, but look! We have Star Wars! And The Office, Season II! They’re just as good as Thomas. Really!
The entire first season of Fraggle Rock on DVD that my mom got me for Christmas and I totally rolled my eyes at?
A GODSEND on the drive to Myrtle Beach.
Two more sanity-saving words: Shrek and Shrek2.
Posted by: Pam | Friday, June 23, 2006 at 07:59 AM
If your toddler zones out while watching TV, then the DVD player will be a blessing. If not, have lots of snacks ready to shove in his mouth to keep his yapper busy. Good luck and happy vacationing!
Posted by: Stacy | Friday, June 23, 2006 at 02:15 PM
First, I hope the weather forecast is wrong! How will you be able to hide from the family if they're all inside the house with you, driving you up a wall??
Second, I felt the same way about the car dvd players---until we got our 2005 Odyssey (yes, I am a mini-van Mom!) equipped with such luxury. DVD players in cars ROCK! Just make sure you get it in your son's head early on that it is for LONG car rides, not trips to the store. We have been strict on that one---makes the dvd a novelty for those long trips. Have a great trip! I'm sure you'll have lots of stories to amuse us with when you return!
Posted by: Colleen | Friday, June 23, 2006 at 08:45 PM
I have nothing to say about the vaca except: have fun!!!
And the new pic? Love it!!!
Posted by: Diana | Monday, June 26, 2006 at 01:41 PM
God love you. You're so cute. Just wait until #2 comes along. You will LONG for the mindless chatter of #1. It beats the heck out of the blood matches the two "beloved siblings" will stage in the back seat while you are trying to drive.
Posted by: Catt | Saturday, July 08, 2006 at 02:45 AM